Out of Bed

Posted on Wed Sep 7th, 2016 @ 11:08pm by Lieutenant Commander Kiaon Solomon ,Mr
Edited on on Wed Sep 7th, 2016 @ 11:27pm

Mission: The Ties That Bind
Location: USS Manoora, crew Quarters
Timeline: Backpost

Kiaon sat on the edge of his bed in a slightly pungent and dirty flight suit staring into his helmet, half-thinking through nonsense equations, attack vectors, firing solutions, rotational positioning. He idly angled it in the reflected light, big looks for small, narrow approaches......a glowing star.... a distant nebula..........

Pulsing light, thrumming, beeping, sight jarring bright lines.... Intense flashes........

Slowly spinning stars,
Red clouds,

Overwhelming illumination,
pressure,
heat,

silence.

The Helmet dropped and he stood up with a start, fists clenched and heart racing. The near silent thrumb of the ship focused him back to numbness.

Sliding his helmet under his bed he began to take off his flight suit in well practised order, placing it folded beneath the bed he shuffled towards the door. Closing his eyes he let his feet guide him, he felt familiar surfaces with his fingertips, memory and routine guiding him.

Activating the sonic shower without out thought he methodically washed himself, fingers absently tracing along the thin ridges mapping out his transplanted skin from his natural.

He thought about Lunora, picturing her smile that he'd loved and worried about the absence of news, he hoped it was a good sign but that background gnawing ache that ate at him knew that it wasn't.

He thought of his brothers, sister, mother and father glad his last update confirmed they were all still ok, especially Jonathen. He thought of his aunts and uncles and of the lack of news on them also, he should be worried, especially for those that lived in the old Cardassian DMZ, but he wasnt, he was just numb.

Heading to his wardrobe he flitted through his uniforms absently.

He thought about his old Squadmates, their faces now hard grasp. They were all gone now and it didnt seem real. He should feel something but he didnt. He hadnt known them well, his Squadmates a little better but it had only been a few months together with most of them.
A lifetime,
a moment,
a blur.
He would have died for them!
But he didnt,
he hadnt.

Did those others feel the same?
The score of Felsted crew rescued with him by a quick thinking Transporter Operator and their team on the Cannock, he didnt even know their names.... An insanely risky and difficult emergency transport rescue while dashing crazily into that Nebula would ordinarily be huge news, cause for celebration and recognition but now not a mention, did anyone know or care?

What of the Feldsted, his squad mates and all the others, would anyone even notice them in amongst all of this fear and failure?

What had happened to the others?
To everything?

He didnt know, he had been barely conscious on the Cannock but he remembered when they had told him. He hadnt believed them, he still didnt fully, not in his heart. He hadnt seen them go, not on the sensors not with his old eyes, it didnt seem real.

He tried to picture them again, but they were fuzzy and unformed, the faces of what would be his new squad came to the fore instead and he began to search through his uniforms again, frantically. He'd return to duty soon enough and perhaps these new faces would push out the old!

He hadnt even liked them!
Their self-righteous arrogance!
Too soft, too cock-sure, too scared.
Bloody weak bastards! If they’d hard more balls! Been more switched on they’d still be here!
Fuck them.

Fuck...

My friends…

He glanced away from his empty wardrobe at the scattered uniforms strewn across the room.
Picking up the nearest one he swallowed the passing dread and began to dress.

He had to get back to it, back to the fight.
He placed his first gold pip.
He had to kill them, smash their barbaric culture so it would never rise again.
He placed his second gold pip.
Every Jem’hadar, Vorta, Founder and every last fucking Cardassian must die.
He placed his third Black pip on his collar, it felt unfamiliar.
He would fight again, Fight for his family, for his friends, for his home and for the Federation.
He attached his Comm badge.

He hesitated at the door, he turned back.
Why?!
Why them?!
Why me?!

By the Prophets, Why?!

Why didnt you do anything?!

Why didnt I do more?

Where is Lunora?

Jonathen..

I dont want to go out there again.

Just a man in a small metal box.

I…
I must do my bit.

Striding out into the corridor before he could falter again he made his way swiftly into the turbolift, doing his best to not get disorientated even in this quiet corridor with only a few people after so long virtually alone.

=^= Computer take me to Sickbay =^=

--- END ---